Fan of How I Met Your Mother

Dear Santa

2009-02-20T15:32:00.001-08:00

December 15, 2008

Dear Santa,

As I’m sure you’ve noticed, I’ve been extra special good this year, even taking on some of your work load… by stuffing as many stockings as I can. So it’s with great admiration and what I’m sure is mutual respect that I humbly submit to you my Christmas list for this year. And bro, if you have a sec, wake me up -- I’d really like to talk to you about how you sneak out of so many women’s houses undetected. I’m good, but I’m not that good.

Happy Holidays,

Barney Stinson

P.S. I left you a glass of twelve-year-old single malt. Milk? Let’s get serious, bro.

Bingo!

2009-02-20T15:29:00.000-08:00

January 19, 2009

"Every year I take the top 25 party schools and arrange them on a bingo card. The rules are simple*: Sleep with a collegiate hottie then mark her school on the board. Bingo = five in a row in any direction – up, down, across, upside down, missionary, etc."

*following prerequisites must be met for Bingo

1. Students must be currently enrolled. Don’t think you can knock Florida off your list just by visiting a strip club in Gainsville.

2. Spring break acquisitions may NOT be applied toward your Bingo sheet. This is supposed to be a challenge.

3. Students shall have completed one credit hour of a foreign language.

4. College mascots / members of the dance team will be considered invalid.

5. Student must be attending university in person – “getting a degree” online does not count in the same way that “having sex” online does not count.

6. Any conquests achieved during a 24 hour period following that school’s college world series win, NCAA basketball tournament triumph, or BCS bowl victory will be considered null and void.

7. Have fun!

Italian Leather Clad Foot in the Door

2009-02-20T15:28:00.000-08:00

February 2, 2009

"Check out the most awesome résumé ever! www.barneysvideoresume.com

Dear Sir or Madam but probably Sir:

As a CEO of a multi-national corporation and/or beloved dictator of a small but oil-rich nation, you've undoubtedly felt the need to surround yourself with an awesome, handsome right-hand man. Your search is over. I am a natural fit for your right hand.

I, Barney Stinson, recognize that you are a man (or woman, I guess) with precious free time. You cannot afford to comb though the stack of tree-killing, archaic paper résumés that have inundated your office or luxury yacht because as a… human… of great power and influence, you don't have time to read. As such, I proudly yet humbly present to you my video résumé:"

www.barneysvideoresume.com

Ted's Videos

2009-02-15T14:40:00.000-08:00

Barney's Videos

2009-02-15T14:31:00.000-08:00

Pictures

2009-02-15T13:49:00.000-08:00

The Bro Code

2009-02-15T13:35:00.000-08:00

The bond between two men is stronger that the bond between a man and a woman because, on average, men are stronger than woman. That's just science.

Did you know...

Article 1 can trace its genesis all the way back to Genesis. No, not the Peter Gabriel/Phil Collins pop triad, but the biblical book. The discovery of the Dead Sea Scrolls has unearthed a once-lost passage that documents the earliest infringement of the Bro Code:

Book of Barnabas 1:1

And everything of need was provided in the Garden. Fruit, water companionship. But one day, Adam came upon a naked chick, Eve, and desired her olive leaf. And so Adam wenteth behind an apple tree to know Eve, totally ditching his Bro, Phil, who had Knicks tickets. Courtside. Long story short, humankind became self-aware, paradise was lost, and well, we all know what happend to the Knicks.

Article 2

A Bro is always entitled to do something stupid, as log as the rest of his Bros are all doing it.

Article 3

If a Bro gets a dog, it must be at least as tall as his knee when full-grown.

Article 4

Bro never divulges the existence of the Bro Code to a woman. It's a sacred document not to be shared with chicks for any reason... no, not even that reason.

Article 5

Whether he cares about sports or not, a Bro cares about sports.

Article 6

A Bro shall not lollygag if he must get naked in front of the other Bros in a gym locker room.